An Apology

Election Day 2008 came as a great catharsis for me, as for many other people around the world. On November 5, I sent an e-mail to a few friends, which summed up as best I could what that day meant, given the preceding eight years. Oddly enough, a few weeks later, someone else sent the same message (by now without attribution) back to me. In the meantime, it had gone whirling around the Intertubes as one of those humorsicles that people fling at one another when they’re bored. Anyway, here’s the original:

Dear World:

The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the parts responsible for it were replaced last night. Early tests of the newly-installed equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional by early January.

We apologize for any incovenience caused by the outage, and we look forward to resuming full service — and hopefully even to improving it in years to come.

Thank you for your patience and understanding during this trying time,

The USA

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